Parashat Chayei Sara, 5765, Art Braufman
Parashat Chayei Sara
Genesis 23:1-25:18
Delivered on 6 November 2004 / 22 Heshvan 5765
Art Braufman
Shabbat Shalom.
Before I get into my drash, I need to give you a short introduction. Very little is said in the Torah about Sarah, the mother of the Jewish people. As I started doing research, I became fascinated by a number of midrashim written about her. They originate from the Talmudic period through the Middle Ages up to modern Woman's Studies literature. Many stories I never heard before and a number of them are best described as mind-boggling and seem to be the result of hyperactive imaginations. Some of them would be X-rated. A number of the midrashim seem to be remnants of ancient myths and legends which preceded Abraham. In this drash I will only give you hints about some of them, and pass them on without comment. The ones that I selected result in a picture that helps me portray Sarah's character and life probably in the way I would like to see her. As Herman Gunkel said in The Legends of Genesis, "The religion of Abraham is in reality the religion of the narrators of the legends." As our legends evolve, so does Judaism. I would be pleased to share my bibliography with anyone interested in pursuing some of my sources.
And now, let's go back in time...
We're gathered here today, standing by the entrance to the cave of Machpelah, to pay our last respects to Sarah the beloved wife of our dear friend Avraham. When someone dies suddenly as did Sarah, it is indeed a shock for us and we are here to mourn for her and to comfort Avraham and her son Yitzchak who unfortunately was unable to be with us today. The recent trauma, which we are quite aware of, that prevents Yitzchak from being here also led to our dear Sarah's death.
Even though our hearts are filled with sadness, it is not Sarah's death that we want to reflect upon today, but rather to talk about the life of Sarah, Chaye Sarah. Sarah, known as Sarai, was born 127 years ago in the city of Ur and I'm sorry to say that the name of her mother died with her and I can't tell you who it was. After all these years, even the name of her father is not agreed upon. Some say it was Terach, who was also Avraham's father. Others say her father was Avraham's brother Haran and Sarai's name was originally Iscah. At a young age she married Avraham, who at the time was called Avram. Actually, Avraham told me that the name Sarai was a name he gave to Sarah as a term of endearment meaning "my princess". Together, they along with Terach's extended family moved from Ur to Haran. Later as they discovered Adonoy, or maybe I should say, Adonoy discovered them, she and Avram moved on to Canaan. There, Adonoy changed her name to Sarah and blessed her by saying she would be the mother of nations. She was a constant helpmate to Avraham for over 100 years and her loyalty to Avraham, to his God, and to his values is legendary. Yet, Sarah had her own unique, innately close relationship with the Shehina and held a sense of destiny. Indeed, she was a pure and righteous woman with a holy neshamah, a holy soul. I believe that in generations to come, when people pray to Adonoy, they will recall not only Elohey Avraham, but Elohey Sarah as well.
We've all heard a man refer to his wife "as the better half". When I sat last night and talked with Avraham about his memories in preparation for today, he confirmed her unique greatness and remarked how thankful he was to have had a partner like her. Avraham referred to her as an "aishet chayil" a woman of valor. To him, she was more precious than all the material goods with which God has blessed him. He bemoaned that often we appreciate those most precious to us, only after we lose them. Alas he is right. Everything can be replaced, except the wife of one's youth (Shmuel b. Nachman, San. 22a). He mentioned that possibly the cliché about the better half might have originated with him and Sarai. When Adonoy changed her name he took the "yud" which has a numerical value of 10 and divided it in half into two "hays" each with a numerical value of 5. One hey was used to change Sarai to Sara and the other to change Avram to Avraham. Since the "yud" came from Sara, Avraham interpreted this as God's sign that Sarah's virtues exceeded his and were so great that they could be divided up between the two of them.
Avraham reflected that Sarah always stood by him and was his source of inner strength. When he told her that Adonoy spoke to him and told him to leave his home and go to Canaan, she didn't call him crazy, but agreed to go. Think how courageous it was of her to pick up and leave her extended family and the way of life that she was accustomed to. What did she see as her destiny and the destiny of their offspring? She must have had a profound inner connection to the future, like an umbilical cord, which even through long years of barrenness, provided the nurturing needed to overcome the difficulties she faced. When famine struck the land and they had to go to Egypt, again she stayed by Avraham's side rather than going back to her family in Haran. When she had to withstand the sexual encounters first with Pharoah and later Abimelech, she did so by enlisting the help of God, who made both of them sexually impotent. This plague was so widespread that both men not only released Sarah to Avraham, but also provided him with great riches.
Avraham told me something I didn't know before. He said that Pharoah was so impressed not only with Sarah's beauty, but also with her spirituality and her obvious special connection to Adonoy. As a result, Pharoah gave Sarah one of his own daughters as a maidservant. His daughter's name is one you all recognize; it was Hagar. When Sarah couldn't conceive she gave Hagar to Avraham not as a concubine but as a wife, so that his seed could be carried forward. Out of respect for Avraham and Hagar, she voluntarily granted to Hagar all the rights and privileges of a full-fledged wife. Of course we know that didn't develop in the way she thought it would. Sarah, who was so hospitable and generous, had the intuition and you could say prophetic vision to realize that some things just won't work out. This was much more than a personality clash between Sarah and Hagar, it was more of a culture clash between Hagar's Egyptian culture and Sarah's Mesopotamian culture. We don't know all the details, but it appears that even the ritual circumcision might have been one of the key points of conflict. Avraham reminded me that when he became so upset and sad about having to banish Hagar and Ishmael, Adonoy spoke to him and said, "Kol asher tomar alecha Sarah, shma b'kolah", "Whatever Sarah tells you, do as she says ...". Contrary to the popular belief of men, that advice of listening to one's wife probably still has merit today. Her female, motherly soul had a deep spiritual connection to God. It makes me wonder if future generations will call our society "patriarchial" or "matriarchial"? It is my hope that in death the differences that she had with Hagar and Ishmael can be reconciled and may her descendents and their descendents forgive her for any seemingly wrong doings and may they live together in peace.
When we recall someone's life, the good times always bring laughter and Avraham remembered the time when he was in his tent recovering from fulfilling the mitzvah of brit milah as commanded by Adonoy. Three visitors suddenly materialized out of the sand. As they had always done for strangers, Sarah and even Avraham, in his weakened state, rushed to be hospitable and made their visitors a delicious meal. When Sarah overheard that after all these years she was going to conceive, she couldn't stop laughing to herself. She didn't think that was possible at 90 years old. Avraham said she wasn't the only one that laughed. After all he was almost 100 years old. I suppose one could say that laughter is the path to miracles for lo and behold, she did conceive.
Sarah couldn't believe her good fortune and when Yitzchak was born her skepticism turned to complete joy. God had brought forth through her a new life, a new generation that would carry on the philosophy of Avraham. What seemed like an impossible dream just a year before was actually going to become reality. All those fears, tears, and years of feeling abandoned were over. Unfortunately, there were some non-believers who started a rumor that Sarah and Avraham were too old to give birth to a child and that the baby must have been an abandoned child that they had found. To dismiss this rumor, God provided Sarah with more than ample nursing capacity and she invited other women to bring their suckling infants to her so she could suckle them as well as Yitzchak. And because of that nourishment from the loving body and soul of Sarah, some of those children grew up as proselytes of Avraham. I trust that in years to come, Sarah's maternal loving-kindness won't be forgotten and proselytes to the faith that Avraham and Sarah have started will commemorate their connection to her, by calling themselves a daughter of Sarah, bat Sarah. God's promise that she will become the mother of nations will indeed become reality. She was a woman of few words, but her strength and love and steadfastness will nurture generations to come. May her descendents remember her by blessing their children with a prayer that God will bless them, like God blessed Sarah.
Her unwavering trust in Adonoy and in Avraham was reflected even in the last days of her life. When God called out "Avraham", she couldn't hear it, but when she heard Avraham say "Hineni", Sarah knew that an ominous test of Avraham's faith was at hand. She didn't utter a word. She couldn't believe that Adonoy who gave her Yitzchak would take him from her. What about those promises about being the mother of nations, about their offspring being as numerous as the stars in the heaven, about inheriting the land. Anger welled up in her, yet she said nothing. Avraham and Yitzchak left and she didn't even get to say good-by. My stomach churns when I think of her pain. Her servants have told me that when Avraham and Yitchak disappeared over the hill, she collapsed, overcome with grief and tears flowed down her face. One of them said that later, she saw an old man approach Sarah and the servant eavesdropped. The old man, who the servant says made her think of Satan, whispered something to Sarah and the servant heard the name Yitzchak. Sarah collapsed and her soul that was bound up with the soul of her son Yitzchak returned to its maker. Baruch dayan emet.
I mentioned before that Sarah lived for 127 years. She lived a full life where every year counted and all her years were equally good. Because of that we can say she lived for 100 years and 20 years and 7 years. For she was as beautiful at 100 as she was at twenty and as sinless at 20 as she was at 7. She embodied the role of "ezer kinegdo", a helpmate to her husband and together they wove a beautiful tapestry of kindness, good deeds, and faith. As we reflect on Sarah's life, let us ask ourselves, "Are our days equally good? Are our best days behind us or before us? Are we making proper use of the moments allotted to us? As we think of the tapestry that Sarah helped weave, I visualize life as a huge needlepoint canvas; a canvas requiring millions and millions of stitches, each stitch representing a moment of our life, the NOW of life. What does our tapestry look like? How many stitches will we be able to execute? An ancient teaching comes to mind: "V'eem lo achshav, a matai? And if not now, then when? If we don't embroider our tapestry with beautiful yarn at the moment we have the opportunity, that moment is lost forever. I pray when it's time for our weaving to come to an end, may our tapestry be a unified, beautiful, colorful picture of the years of our life lived to the fullest in a way that was filled with love for our fellow human beings and God as it was for Sarah.
"T'hey zichronah l'vracha", May Sarah's memory be for a blessing. Kayn yehi ratzon.
Bibliography:
- Legends of the Bible, Louis Ginzburg
- Genesis, Torah Art Scroll
- Taking the Fruit, Modern Women's Tales of the Bible, Women's Institute San Diego
- The Voice of Sarah, Tamar Frankel
- The Crown of Creation, Chana Weisberg
- Women of the Torah, Barbara Ronson
- Sarah the Priestess, Savina J. Teubal
- Gates to the Old City, Raphael Patai
- Hebrew Myths, The Book of Genesis, Robert Graves and Raphael Patai
- The Legends of Genesis, Herman Gunkel
- Ramban
- Rashi
- Nehama Leibowitz
- Eli Monk's Bereshit
- Shmuel b. Nachman, San. 22a
- TOP-SHORT@LISTSERV.SHAMASH.ORG (Torah Outreach Program, Yaakov Fogelman): Rav Mordecai Gafni