| This is an HTML version of the October 2001 newsletter. I am putting it on the Web site as an experiment. Although it's not nearly as nice looking as the PDF version, it is also much, much smaller and thus can be quickly downloaded. I would be pleased to get your reactions. Is it useful in this form? Do you like it better than the PDF? |
I was just finishing my article for the October Newsletter, when my sister called and said, "Deb, turn on your television!" I reminded her that we don't have TV, and, hearing the panic in her voice, asked her what was going on. She told me that there had been terrorist attacks, in which the two towers of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon had been hit by aircraft. We have neither the words in our personal glossary, nor the symbols in our emotional lexicon to describe the utter horror that we each felt as the hours passed and the scope of these unspeakable acts unfolded.
I have been staring off and on for the past two days at that article I had written, wondering what I should do with it, trying to imagine how to respond to the devastation. I know that this will be read in October, weeks after these events. I don't know how our country will respond or in what type of situation we'll find ourselves then. I do know that each of us will continue to struggle - not to make sense, since one can't make sense of the senseless - but to find resolution, meaning and hope.
For now, our response has been to pull closer together as a community. Many of us participated in the interfaith prayer vigil held in Civic Center Park on Tuesday evening. A phone tree was hastily organized so that we could reach out to each other, offer support and a friendly voice. Rabbi Kelman organized a Kabbalat Shabbat at the shul offices for the Erev Shabbat following the attacks. We received, and passed on, an e-mail from a friend in Pennsylvania, urging people across the U.S. to go outside their homes at 7:00 p.m. on that Friday evening and light a candle. Each of these responses, and many others, are ways that we joined together - and will continue to do so - as a community, whether within our Netivot Shalom family, as residents of Berkeley, or as citizens of a much wider community. That we must continue strengthening these ties is more palpable than it has ever been.
And so I come back to what I'd written before tragedy struck. We have the opportunity, the honor, perhaps even the obligation, to build a home for our community. This home is one for which we have dreamed for years. It is something we give to ourselves, to each other, and to generations to come. This new home will enable us in ways we've only imagined to become an active member of our larger community. But the emphasis right now is on WE. It is we who must build this new home - there is no fairy godmother who will come and do it for us. We are now in the midst of our capital campaign. Volunteers have been working diligently to make appointments and meet with members of the congregation, to talk about our shul, and to ask us to give very careful consideration in making our five-year pledges to the capital campaign. Soliciting pledges for a capital campaign doesn't come easily to many of us. Yet our volunteers continue to call, to meet, and to encourage us to dig as deeply as we can. Please, when you are called by one of your fellow congregants, make an appointment, meet with our volunteers, and pledge to do as much as you can for our capital campaign.
Ashrei yoshvei vetecha - Happy are those who dwell in Your house.
Bivracha U'v'shalom,
Debby Graudenz
JOIN THE Sukkot Extravaganza!
for adults & children
at our new site.
Sunday, October 7th at 1:00 p.m.
Rosh Hodesh Heshvan is Wednesday, October 17;
services in the shul offices at 7:15 a.m.
Rosh Hodesh Kislev is Friday, November 16;
services in the shul offices at 7:15 a.m.
Deadline for the November newsletter is October 12. E-mail submissions and Letters To The Editor to: newsletter@netivotshalom.org.
TEFILAH SCHEDULE SATURDAYS All services are held at the Berkeley-Richmond Jewish Community Center 1414 Walnut Street, Berkeley Torah Study 9:00 a.m. Shabbat Services 9:45 a.m. Meditative Minyan, 3rd Shabbat October 20 9:30 a.m. Learner's Minyan, 2nd & 4th Shabbat October 13, 27 9:45 a.m. For Children & Parents: Shabbat B'Yachad, 2nd & 4th Shabbat October 13, 27 11:00 a.m. Shabbat Shelanu, 1st & 3rd Shabbat October 6, 20 11:30 a.m. Children's Service for kindergarten - 6th grade begins at 10:30 a.m. each Saturday, unless otherwise indicated. WEEKDAY MINYANIM All services are held at our offices, 1841 Berkeley Way, Berkeley Morning Minyan Wednesdays, 7:15 a.m. Rosh Chodesh Minyan Rosh Chodesh Heshvan, October 17, 7:15 a.m. TORAH STUDY & DRASH SCHEDULE FOR: OCTOBER 6 Torah Study of Hol haMo'ed Sukkot with Avital Plan No Drash, reading of Kohelet 13 Torah Study of Bereshit with Nitzhia Shaked Drash by Amit Gressel, bar mitzvah 20 Torah Study of Noah with Nomi Seidman Drash by Avi Samelson, bar mitzvah 27 Torah Study of Lekh Lekha with Nitzhia Shaked Drash by Simon Stahl, bar mitzvah
Today is September 20. What was supposed to have been simply (!) a new year, has turned into a country (civilization?) under attack. These days since September 11 have been agonizing. Although predicting the future is not in my job description, I wish to offer words of comfort to those who are in mourning and words of healing and support to those of us in need - in New York and Washington, around the world and in our own community. We are in those days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur - days of teshuvah, of turning inward, of looking at the true nature of our selves. On Yom Kippur, I spoke of our current state of awe and fear and our need for a sustained sense of hope. What we now need are positive expressions to make those feelings real. I offer my column below (written before that Tuesday) as one small step toward the future.
About one month before each and every bar or bat mitzvah, I always have a meeting with parents and the bar/bat mitzvah, ostensibly to review the service and do a run-through of the upcoming Shabbat morning. At the end of the hour I ask, "So. How, in fact, are you going to BECOME a bar/bat mitzvah? If you really take this moment in your life seriously, you need to do some action, some mitzvah, which indicates your desire to become a bar/bat mitzvah." At that point in the session, there is usually dead silence. So, in order not to embarrass anyone, I generally ask the student to go home and have a conversation with his or her parents, and discuss just which mitzvah he or she will now begin to observe on a sustained basis, that will, in fact, honor the obligation that they have said they will assume - namely, to BECOME a bar or bat mitzvah.
At age 13, the adult parent(s) no longer assume the responsibilities for performing mitzvot for the child. Now, he or she is on their own. They are the ones responsible for fulfilling the mitzvot - and parental obligations are reduced. In traditional synagogues, the father recites a beracha once the son has completed his aliyah on the occasion of his child reaching 13. The beracha is "Baruch shepetarani mayansho shel zeh" - roughly translated, "Blessed is the One who has freed me from being responsible for the punishments of this one (should he sin)". While this beracha is a legal statement of the child's having reached accountability for his actions, the overtones were such that the most recent of the siddurim in all the liberal movements have excised it from print.
I've always felt, though, that something was missing. Parents in our shul come to the bimah for an aliyah, in joyful thanksgiving for the goodness that they have enjoyed. Yes, we say "shehechiyanu" at the end of the service, but it has always seemed a bit odd that the actual aliyah of the bar or bat mitzvah goes by in silence.
Three years ago, the Masorti Movement in Israel issued a new siddur. In it, there were two berachot that were to be said at the moment of having the aliyah. The first, is, appropriately enough, "Baruch hamezake et beni/biti bemitzvot". Roughly translated: "Blessed is the One who makes it possible for my son/daughter to now observe mitzvot". Very appropriate! The second, is "Baruch … hatov vehameytiv". Roughly translated: "Praised are You … who is good and makes things good."
Beginning shortly, please listen for these berachot. They acknowledge God's goodness as well as the bar/bat mitzvah's assumption of life-enhancing mitzvot. They will be recited as soon as the bar/bat mitzvah has concluded his or her aliyah - and before we say a "mi sheberach" for the occasion. It's good to give thanks for simchot!
Melia Santiago: $2,260 Single Supplement: $325 Children under 12 in same room with two adults: $1,676 Hotel Las Americas: $2,040 Single supplement: $210 No children in the same room
Plus $200 donation to The Cuba-America Jewish Mission - the Mission may be income tax deductible if you travel as a delegate from Netivot Shalom. Consult your tax advisor.
This trip begins and ends in Miami, Florida & complies with all U.S. restrictions on travel to Cuba and is licensed by the U.S. government.
For more information, contact
June or Bob Safran
The Cuba-America Jewish Mission
444 34th St. Oakland, CA 94609
Phone: 510-526-7173
Fax: 510-527-2514
E-mail: June@cajm.org / www.cajm.org
Rabbi Hammer was born in Syracuse. N.Y. and received his rabbinical degree and doctorate in Theology from the Jewish Theological Seminary and a Ph.D. in Communicative Disorders from Northwestern University. He served as a chaplain in the U.S. Air Force and as a congregational rabbi for 15 years before making aliyah in 1973.
In Israel he has taught at various institutions, including the Hebrew University and Oranim. He served as Dean of the J.T.S. programs in Israel and as founding Director of the Schechter Institute. Rabbi Hammer has taught at the Rabbinical School in Argentina and at Moscow State University for the Humanities. He currently teaches at the Schechter Institute and is the Head of the Rabbinical Court for Conversion of the Masorti Movement, Chairman of the Movement's Political Action Committee and Vice-President of the International Rabbinical Assembly. He is the author of numerous articles on scholarly and popular topics in Hebrew and English and the author of six books, two of which have been cited as the best work of scholarship for the year by the National Jewish Book Council. His most recent books are the Jerusalem Anthology and Entering the High Holy Days. He recently completed the first in a two-volume set of commentary on the Siddur, to be printed by the Rabbinical Assembly this coming year.
Rabbi Hammer and his wife, Rahel, a Judaic artist, live in Jerusalem. They have five children and fifteen grandchildren at last count.
Tom Segev, one of the new breed of Israeli historians, and Yossi Klein Halevi, the Israel correspondent for the New Republic, will present their distinct views about contemporary Israel and the current crisis facing both Israelis and Palestinians. Segev is the author of One Palestine, Complete: Jews and Arabs Under the British Mandate as well as the highly acclaimed The Seventh Million. Halevi is the author of At the Entrance to the Garden of Eden as well as the remarkable coming of age story Memoirs of a Jewish Extremist. Both authors are often controversial, and always very articulate.
Admission: $5.00, free to Netivot Shalom members.
This event is sponsored by the Berkeley Richmond Jewish Community Center, Congregation Netivot Shalom and the Israel Center of the Jewish Federation of the Greater East Bay. For more information, call the Israel Center at 510-839-2900, ext. 253 or e-mail riva@jfed.org.
We're fast approaching our third Shabbat in Israel, and oddly enough, we're still not completely settled in. Getting there though - we've more or less mastered the Celsius settings on the stove (is 7,000 degrees too hot to cook a chicken?), we've found the best place for fresh lachmaniot (rolls) each morning and we're finally getting our pelephone (cell phone) so we can really fit in to Israeli culture. It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks.
We know that Netivot Shalom congregants are savvy about Israel, so we don't have to begin with the travel guide aleph bet. But for those who have forgotten, Jerusalem is truly a beautiful city, with Jerusalem stone shining and glimmering in the summer sun. The Old City walls (within which Josh's school is located) are dwarfed by those other "seven wonders" of the ancient world, and yet are more powerful and awe-inspiring than the others combined (although that hanging garden of Babylon was pretty cool).
In what direction do we proceed? We could of course write about the gunfire and helicopters we've heard intermittently from our apartment (our neighborhood, Talpiot, is not far from Gilo), and about the usual-but-terrible security issues that go along with everyday life here. We could go slightly further and bravely and foolishly wade into the political quicksand, and provide you with an intimate view of how/if personal politics are transformed by living here. We could take up a couple of pages with a poor explanation of the Byzantine educational system here, and how we chose schools for Nomi and Josh. Or we could wax on about how it is to live within a majoritarian Jewish culture, in which one is greeted with Shabbat Shalom on a Friday by dati (religious) and secularist alike, and how even the banks try and exploit a Shana Tova theme into their tacky radio ads.
What we hope to do during these two years is to get to all of those things - and more. We've both long believed that Israel is absolutely central to Jewish existence, irrespective of where one happens to live. We've also been greatly concerned that the gap between Israel and the Diaspora (even the term itself can provoke debate) has been growing over the years, to all of our detriment. What we'd love to do is help humanize an Israel that appears too distant even to a congregation that is so fiercely passionate about its Judaism. If that alone, then dayenu.
Please keep in touch (bowlies613@hotmail.co.il).
Josh and Nomi love to get mail too!
Shana tova u'metukah,
Jerry, Debbie, Josh and Nomi (and Leah)
Co-sponsored by Beth El, Beth Israel, Kehilla, Netivot Shalom, Aquarian Minyan and Berkeley Richmond JCC.
Learn how Jewish wisdom and modern psychology support each other in helping couples communicate effectively, resolve conflicts and enhance love and friendship.
Sunday, October 7, 9:00 a.m.-5:15 p.m.
and two follow-up Thursdays. At the BRJCC.
Call Cathy Diamond for information and to register at Jewish Family Services, 510-704-7475 ext. 225.
There will also be a book party and free introductory talk on Sunday, September 30, 4:00-5:30 p.m. at the BRJCC.
Please RSVP 510-704-7475 ext. 225
Each session will include discussion and practical tools for enhancing your relationship with your partner!
Topics:
Led By: Hilda Kessler, Ph.D.
Sunday Mornings: November 18, December 16, & January 20 10:00-11:30 a.m. At the home of Hilda Kessler
Space is limited! Register by calling Hilda Kessler at 525-3582.
Childcare available at the shul offices. RSVP a must!
Mazal Tov To:
Condolences to: Stanley Berger, on the death of his mother, Esther Berger
Celebrate a Simcha!! Sponsor a kiddush! Contact the Kiddush Coordinator, Rochelle Guinasso, at 524-3754 and at roguinasso@aol.com.
In the second portion of our seminar, we discussed the importance of work. We questioned, "What is work? How does it define who we are? Does it ever stop?" Some of our discussion developed around Rabbi Tarfon's statement from Pirkei Avot:
"You are not called upon to complete the work, yet you are not free to desist from it."
The discussion was spirited, and of course there were no conclusions. True to our tradition, we ended with more questions than answers. Many thanks to Esther Brass, and to all who participated in a stimulating and interesting evening.
REMINDER: The next time we get together, we will be discussing long-term health care insurance. There will be two speakers to present information and available options. Join us on Monday, November 12 at 7:00 p.m. at the home of Noah & Hope Alper. Please call Jean Bradman (549-3231) for directions.
Alex meets regularly with the Bay Area Death Penalty Action Team and has a great deal of information on this issue. For more information or to become involved, please contact Alex at (510) 527-6382 or madonika@home.com.
Would you like to make a difference in the education of a child? The Jewish Coalition for Literacy organizes tutoring for K-3 school children. At least two of our congregation members are tutoring children through this program, one of them working in a school in the neighborhood of our new building.
Volunteers can tutor for as little as one hour per week. The Coalition will hold a training session for new volunteers on Sunday, October 14 from 10:00 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at the Jewish Federation of the Greater East Bay, 401 Grand Avenue. To sign up for training, please call Allison Greif at (510) 839-2900 ext. 272.
You might want to ask Allison if you can tutor at a school in our new neighborhood. If anyone does pursue this volunteer opportunity, please let me know!
The next meeting of the Social Action Committee is Tuesday, October 2, 7:00 p.m., 1048 Keith Avenue, Berkeley (between Spruce and Euclid). For more information please contact Cyndi Berck at (510) 524-2984 or cyndiberck@hotmail.com.
As a new year begins, we continue to make progress on our new home on University Avenue. On September 9th, the Site Work Group presented its planning and design recommendations to the Board of Directors. These recommendations were accepted, and following ongoing refinement, they will be presented to the membership at large at a special congregational meeting on Sunday, November 11. More information about this meeting will be forthcoming. We look forward to everyone's participation.
The City of Berkeley requires a study to assess the traffic impact of our presence on University Avenue, especially during school hours when children are dropped off and picked up. This study will be conducted in October, jointly with our new next-door neighbors, The Montessori School. In September we conducted a Geotechnical Field Exploration - our first little construction-related ground-breaking. Results of this test of the site's substructure (i.e., dirt) will allow our geotechnical engineer to make design and construction recommendations based on seismic loading and soil capacities and other structural engineering considera-tions. Speaking of dirt, the garden is doing nicely, but requires your oh-so-quick-and-easy volunteer efforts for basic weeding and watering. No experience necessary.
Finally, there are plans to build a sukkah in the new building's parking lot for your use over Sukkot. We hope you will make use of this temporary structure built in the shadow of our permanent home.
Continue to watch for developments with the University Ave. Site. Contact me at MeresmanJ@aol.com with comments or suggestions for the Site Work Group, or to find out how you can help.
On October 13, Parashat Bereshit, our third son, Amit, becomes a bar mitzvah. I thought this a good opportunity for research on the history and practice of this ceremony.
In this article I want to (1) review the history of the bar/bat mitzvah ceremony in Judaism, (2) describe Netivot Shalom's bar/bat mitzvah policies, and (3) share some of my personal experiences and reflections as we approach our family's final bar mitzvah.
THE HISTORY OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH
The term "bar/bat mitzvah" translates as "son/daughter of the commandment." Historically the term was used to denote religious and legal maturity, which in Judaism was 13 years for a boy and 12 years for a girl. This was the age at which parents were no longer legally accountable for their children, and the children were able to assume religious and legal responsibility. While "bar mitzvah" was mentioned as early as the 2nd century CE in referring to a boy who had come of age, it was not until the 14th century that there was a special ceremony in synagogue to mark this transition for boys, and the 19th century for girls. (It is reported that Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of Reconstructionism, introduced the bat mitzvah for his daughter Judith in 1922.)
Most early bar mitzvah ceremonies involved simply calling the child up to the Torah for an aliyah, or to read the maftir aliyah and the haftorah. This is still the primary practice in Israel today. The bar mitzvah celebration we know today, with the parties, guests and emphasis on the child, is a North American development of the 20th century.
It is interesting that as overall Jewish religious observance has been on the decline in the 20th century, the bar/bat mitzvah has expanded and taken firmer hold. Like the Passover Seder, it is one of the most widely observed Jewish rites, even among otherwise unaffiliated families. Its rise to prominence has had a powerful impact on Jewish education and synagogue membership. This has come through its use as a "carrot" to enforce minimum standards of Jewish education and synagogue membership for families who wish to have their children become a bar/bat mitzvah. (Some believe the bar/bat mitzvah also has a disruptive effect on synagogue membership, when the regulars feel "pushed out" by the influx of guests, especially in large synagogues where there are as many as three bar/bat mitzvahs per week.)
While in religious terms the bar/bat mitzvah is supposed to represent the child's acceptance of the mitzvot, anthropologically it can also be seen as a rite of passage. I wonder if some of the reason for its popularity in 20th century Jewish America is because it encompasses the transition from tradition to modernity by combining the traditional/communal with the individual/heroic. Whatever the reason, for most Jewish children there is a discrepancy between its stated function and the child's lived reality. Stuart Schoenfeld, the most prolific researcher on the bar/bat mitzvah, explains this difference as follows:
"The formal language of bar/bat mitzvah is the language of transition to adult responsibility, but we know the reality is somewhat different. The 13-year-old wakes up on the day after the bar/bat mitzvah wealthier, happier and less anxious than the day before. Instead of feeling the weight of adult responsibility, the bar/bat mitzvah is likely to feel relieved, and to actually have more freedom than he or she has had for the past six months…. The bar/bat mitzvah has fewer external pressures and can make more choices in how he or she is going to play the role of Jewish teenager. It's that role which is the reality of the transition. bar/bat mitzvah doesn't mark the transition from Jewish child to Jewish adult. It marks the transition from Jewish child to Jewish adolescent." (1987, p.27)
THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH AT NETIVOT SHALOM
I think it would be useful for the general public to know some of the requirements and expectations our synagogue places on the families and children who will become a bar/bat mitzvah.
Jewish Education: In addition to participation for a year in the Amitim program, all students are expected to have completed five years of religious school education, day school or their equivalent. Students are expected to continue in the Midrasha program following their becomming a bar/bat mitzvah, though this cannot be enforced.
Membership: Families must be members of Netivot Shalom for at least two years prior to the bar/bat mitzvah.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Regulations: Families may invite up to 150 guests. They may receive five of the seven aliyot (not counting the maftir aliyah, for the bar/bat mitzvah child), as well as opening/closing the ark, lifting and wrapping the Torah. The synagogue will schedule no more than three bar/bat mitzvahs in a row, after which there must be a break of at least two weeks.
Parent Speeches: Speeches are to be two to three minutes per parent, which means one double-spaced sheet. Rabbi Kelman's directions to parents include: (1) no "I remember when" stories; (2) don't tell them they did a good job - it's a mitzvah, not a task; (3) don't tell them how much you love them - tell them this often and before. He recommends parents teach the child something, or speak of hopes for the future, or talk about the child's name and its qualities.
The majority of complaints I receive following a bar/bat mitzvah are about parents' speeches - when they went over their time limit, did not adequately prepare their remarks, or made congregants uncomfortable by sharing overly intimate details in a public setting. My advice/request to parents is: Write down everything you wish to say and practice it out loud before a mirror, even if you are an accomplished public speaker (the emotions of the day wreak havoc with composure). The congregation (and your child) will stop listening after three minutes, so less is definitely more. If you think you are the exception to this, whether because your message is so important or you are a regular in the community so people won't mind, you are probably wrong.
PERSONAL REFLECTIONS
I want to share some of my thoughts as we near the finish line with our third bar mitzvah. I have learned the following:
Family Process: The bar/bat mitzvah is a rite of passage for the whole family. The best advice I received came from my oldest brother, Joe, who told me before our first bar mitzvah, "Don't let anyone stay in your house during the bar mitzvah weekend. You need to fight." Like weddings and funerals, the bar/bat mitzvah calls up just about every positive and negative emotion. It is a new level of adulthood for parents in many ways, from pushing your child to do something she doesn't want to do, to negotiating the different aspects of the celebration, to financing the weekend (again my brother Joe: "You know you're a man when you can pay for a bar mitzvah.")
Values: The bar mitzvah is where the "rubber hits the road" in terms of values. You say it's not just about a party for the kids. Where do you put most of your efforts? Is the food going to be better at the party than at the kiddush? How many Shabbat mitzvot or kashrut laws (which your child just took on in full) will you break to make the event convenient for yourselves and your guests? How do you respond to the pressure of "keeping up with the Cohens" or to your child's fears that his party will not measure up to those of his friends? Those of us who "pick and choose" our mitzvot have to negotiate each one of these items, struggling between what we think we believe and what we're willing and able to practice. As Schoenfeld (1987) writes:
Bar/bat mitzvah become times at which the issue of how to live a Jewish life in America becomes especially problematic. Unlike a bris or weddings and funerals - all of which have important non-religious dimensions, bar/bat mitzvah have no other stated purpose but the inclusion of the child into the group of the Jewish people. It is difficult to get through it without having to encounter the issue of Jewish identity in all its ambivalent glory.
The Party: There seems to be a ghoulish fascination with extravagant bar/bat mitzvah parties, especially in the popular press. In my research I found several articles cataloguing the more flamboyant of them, e.g., the "football theme" party which involved renting out the Orange Bowl stadium, marching band and cheerleaders; or the man who chartered the Queen Elizabeth II and its staff of 1,000 for his 300 guests on an overnight bar mitzvah cruise (cost: $500,000).
I've been to some pretty lavish bat/bat mitzvah parties that I certainly couldn't afford to host and I would probably choose to use my money differently even if I could. But in fairness to the parents involved, from what I can make out it seems that they want to make the event special for their child and their family. They typically don't have a strong religious connection to Judaism and their expression of commitment comes in the currency and culture with which they're most familiar. These bar/bat mitzvah parties are as carefully scripted and choreographed as any religious service, as those who have gone through the bar/bat mitzvah circuit can attest. Schoenfeld (1994) even refers to the candle lighting ceremony common at bar/bat mitzvah parties as a "secular aliyah."
Why Every Jewish Child Should Have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah: Despite my focus on all the things a bar/bat mitzvah is not, there are many things it is, at least in our community. It is the first time most children ever have to do something difficult over a sustained period, and by making it through this they learn that you can have a good experience even when not having fun. They learn valuable skills in reading from the Torah and leading services, and some continue to be regular davenners in our congregation. They get a better grounding in Jewish values. They develop strong friendships with other Jewish children through the Amitim year that can continue into high school and beyond. They make it through difficult internal hurdles (e.g. learning Hebrew, speaking before a large audience) and come out the other side with an enhanced sense of self.
I never fail to get choked up when I watch the child take the Torah and for the first time say the Sh'ma to the whole congregation. It is a moment of great power to be part of this linking of Judaism from one generation to the next, either as a parent or as a congregant watching. The ceremony taps into our most primal tribal sense of belonging. I have been the calling gabbai for dozens of bar/bat mitzvot over the years, and I have never stood next to a set of parents - even ones I never saw before in synagogue and will never see again - who weren't deeply moved by the day, who didn't come out with their relationship to Judaism in some way affected. How many other rituals do we have which work so well, on so many levels, for the entire family? A
References:
Encyclopedia Judaica.
Horowitz, J. (1982, August 20). "The gala BarMitzvah: Is bigger better?" Los Angeles Times, pp. 1,23).
Kolatch, A. (1981). The Jewish Book of Why. Middle Village, NY: Jonathan David Pub., Inc.
Marder, J. (1992, Winter). "When Bar/Bat Mitzvah loses meaning." Reform Judaism, pp. 4-12, 69.
Schoenfeld, S. (1987, December). "Ritual performance, curriculum design and Jewish identity: Towards a perspective on contemporary innovations in Bar/Bat Mitzvah education." Paper presented at the Association for Jewish Studies, Boston, MA.
Schoenfeld, S. (1988). "Bar/Bat Mitzvah, tradition and identity." Identity of sourcebook unavailable.
Schoenfeld, S. (1994). "Some aspects of the social significance of Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations." In Fishbane, S. & Lightstone, J. (Eds.), Essays in the Social Scientific Study of Judaism and Jewish Society.(277-304). Ktav Press.
Snyder, H. (1980, Winter). "Is Bar-Bat Mitzvah destroying attendance at synagogue services?" Reform Judaism, pp. 9-12.
| September 30 | Aleynu: Tikkun Olam (Repair of the World) |
| October 7 | Barechu: Does God Need Our Praise? |
| October 14 | V'haya im shamoa: Reward & Punishment |
| October 21 | Refaeynu: To Ask for Healing |
| November 11 | Adonai melech: God as King (Metaphors of the Divine) |
| December 2 | Halleluyah - Psalm 149: Revenge |
| December 9 | Modim: Saying 'Thank You' |
No charge for members of Congregation Netivot Shalom; non-member fee: $5 per session.
Required text: The Bible.
$85/public; $65/Netivot Shalom members
A description of the Adult Education offerings this fall is contained in the September newsletter. Monday evenings Ethics in the Torah with Nitzhia Shaked. Tuesday evenings two Talmud classes, Tractate Brachot, Chapter 5, with Rabbi Kelman and Tractate Makkot, Chapter 1 with Ilana Fodiman. Wednesday evenings Hebrew for all levels with Judy Massarano, Rachel Heinstein and Jonathan Heinstein. Trope with Jan Fischer also on Wednesday evenings. Check the calendar for details on Gender and Judaism, the Learner's Minyan, Rabbi Kelman's series on Siddur controversies, Reuven Hammer and more.
In August I had the opportunity to meet with the Chairs of Adult Education at Beth El, Beth Israel, Kehilla and the staff person at the BRJCC. We explored the possibility of more community-wide programming and resolved the following. 1) Establish a community children's library at BRJCC as well as a resource center for Adult Ed programming. 2) Promote a community-wide study evening three times a year. Beth Israel will take the lead in the fall program, Beth El at Pesach, and Netivot Shalom for the Tikkun Leyl Shavuot. 3) Beth El, Beth Israel and Netivot Shalom will fund an Advanced Talmud class with Ilana Fodiman. 4) All shuls and the BRJCC will co-sponsor the Gender and Judaism series initiated by Netivot Shalom. 5) The group will meet 5-6 times per year and will produce occasional articles to document its progress 6) The group will initiate community-wide study and discussion of core Jewish issues, including Israel. It remains to be seen whether this initiative is more of an expression of good will and friendship or if the Synagogues and the BRJCC will succeed in harnessing some of their budget, staff and membership to the task of bridging the gaps in the larger Jewish community.
I will be completing my tenure as Adult Education Chair at Netivot Shalom in February, 2002. The past two years have seen a turnover in the committee's membership, with some excellent new members joining us. We are, however, about four or five members short of a full contingent and I want to appeal to anyone who might be considering making a contribution to the shul in this area to please contact me or Lorraine at 549-9447, ext. 104.
I'm looking for others who want to form a chavurah support group, to help one another work toward not working on Shabbat and deepening Shabbat observance. Please call me for more details and discussion of how to make this a reality. Robin Braverman, 925-979-1998.
Learn How to "Take the Jewels out of the Cobblestones on Jew Street"
The desire for rituals in our lives is strong. Knowing the "how to" of traditional Jewish rituals helps us feel comfortable in participating and making choices about including these rituals in our lives. It also forms the foundation for understanding Jewish perspectives on ritual which can allow us to use our tradition to create rituals for our modern circumstances, or to apply traditional rituals in new ways to meet modern needs.
This year the ritual committee, with a little push from our beloved Rabbi Kelman, will again sponsor ritual fairs to help deepen our understanding of traditional rituals. Our new fairs will in some ways be like what we have done in the past, and in some ways they will be different, as we try some new approaches.
Each fair will have several "stations" which will repeat three times during the fair to permit participants to go from station to station and get acquainted with a few sets of rituals. Each fair will also provide the opportunity to purchase books and ritual objects that go along with the rituals presented. And, of course, we will feed each other with a dairy/veggie/kosher fish pot luck.
Each fair will have at least one station for creative ritual. The creative ritual station will focus on how to create rituals for your family and/or what new rituals we may need to create as a community to meet the needs of our time.
This first fair on October 28 at 1:30 p.m. will focus on rituals of the home, Torah, t'filah(prayer), and Shabbat. Some of the topics covered will include keeping kosher, putting up mezzuzot, lifting and dressing the Torah, what to do during an aliyah, when to bow and use other movements during prayer, using t'filin, putting on and using a talit during prayer, when and how to light Shabbat candles and how many to light, blessing your children on Shabbat, and making havdallah at the end of Shabbat.
Future fairs (we hope to have three this year) will focus on rituals of the hagim (holidays) with a special section on the rituals of Pesach, rituals of death and remembrance, rituals of eating, rituals of study, rituals of mikvah and purity, rituals of birth, and rituals of other life-cycle events. Each fair will repeat some stations from previous fairs, as we recognize that the need for exploration and the opportunity to learn must be on-going.
Join us. It will be fun and informal. It's the place to learn things you always wanted to know, but didn't know whom to ask. We are all teachers. We are all students.
As I think about the ritual fairs, I am reminded of a story told by my teacher, Rabbi Larry Kushner of Sudbury, Massachusetts:
Being a Jew is like walking down a beautiful cobblestone street all your life with a sack on your back. That street is called "Jew Street." On that street each of the cobblestones is a beautiful jewel -each stone is a mitzvah. As we each walk along Jew Street, from time to time we reach down and try to remove the jewel at our feet, the mitzvah, and put it in the sack on our backs - to make it our own. Sometimes that's easy. When we reach down to pick up the jewel "Don't murder," it's easy to throw it in our sack and make it our own. Or the jewel, "Give tsedakah." Maybe that one comes out easily too. But there are some that maybe don't come out so easily. Maybe "Don't eat traif" just doesn't come loose in your hand. Or maybe you just can't budge "Don't use money on Shabbat" at all. So here's the wonderful thing about Jew Street: You continue along Jew Street all your life, and the jewels that don't come out in your hand when you encounter them at first just keep coming up again and again. And there's always the chance that maybe the next time when you reach for it, it will come out more easily and you'll put it in your sack and make it your own.
Come to the ritual fair. Learn how to pick up a jewel from the cobblestones. As you walk along Jew Street, maybe now is the time to put more jewels in your sack.
As you may know, we have a JOB BANK. When students register we ask them if they are available for babysitting, pet-sitting, secretarial/office work, moving and heavy lifting, housework, tutoring either secular or Judaic subjects, party help, yard work or computer help. We update this list as students enroll, so the list gets longer as the semester goes on. We can either mail or fax the list to you. Call the Midrasha office, 843-4667, for a copy.
Mark your calendars for Sunday, November 18, 9:30 am. That is the morning that we have our annual study brunch and the public is invited. We feed you and then our teachers all teach classes in something they love. You get to choose two to attend. As a backdrop to this event, we have a silent auction and that's where we are looking for your help. Do you have anything that you would like to donate to the auction? This is a great way to advertise. Be creative: Do you make jewelry? Pottery? Draft wills? Does your company make a product or offer a service you can donate? Are you a computer expert? Can you share your season tickets to a sporting event or entertainment? Are you a fitness trainer? An artist? A music teacher? A craftsperson? An author? A caterer? Do you own a cabin? Contact the Midrasha office 843-4667 if you can donate something to our auction. All proceeds go to our scholarship fund.
As the dust settles from our second summer of Camp Ramah, we are proud to say that we have created a camp where one did not exist before. This is a letter of many, many todot, thanks, to all of you for helping make this camp possible. "How did I make this camp possible?" you ask. Here are a few of the ways:
You gave us an office! The fourth grade kitah kindly shares its space with the Ramah desk, computer, and growing stores of files, tee-shirts, photos, and other important things - including a camp director who can often be found there, doing the planning, organizing, grant-seeking and recruiting so that almost 100 children have a wonderful experience of Jewish life each summer.
You gave us a place for staff to meet! If you were around the office during the summer, during staff training week or Monday night staff meetings, you certainly saw the lively gang of young adults cutting out name-tags, studying Torah, working on the plan for Israel Day or the next overnight. And let's not forget to mention a place to park our van in the evening and keep extra supplies for the summer. A camp staff takes up a lot of space, and we appreciate that you offered it to us!
You gave us our wonderful Board members, Golda Blum, Carla Cassler, and Rena Dorph. These hard-working, smart women found the time in their busy lives to oversee the camp's books, raise its money, help think through its educational plan, and so much more. I can't thank them enough.
You gave us Rabbi Kelman, who sits on our Board, is a mentor for myself and for the staff, who opens his home to the camp staff during the summer, providing his experience, his knowledge and his vision. Rabbi Kelman is a profound friend of Jewish young people, a model educator and a man who helps many people remember what Judaism can mean and what it can be. We are lucky to have him as the Mara D'atra, the Rabbinical Authority behind our camp.
And last, thanks to the many people who donated money to make this camp possible. We can't do it without you.
I believe Camp Ramah is a very wise investment for Netivot Shalom. Parents tell me that since Ramah, their kids look forward to religious school so they can see their camp friends, or that they pray with skill and ruach on Shabbat because they learned to love t'filah at camp. The gifts that are given to camp will be returned for many, many years to come. So, on behalf of all of our campers from Netivot Shalom and the wider community, once again Todah Rabbah!
B'shalom - Dan Alter
Judy Lieberman & Allen Samelson invite you to join them on October 20 as their son,Avi Samelson is called to the Torah as a bar mitzvah
Marissa Moss & Harvey Stahl invite you to join them on October 27 as their son, Simon Stahl is called to the Torah as a bar mitzvah
| Zelma Lucoff | 1 Heshvan/October 18 |
| Leib Geliebter | 3 Heshvan/October 20 |
| Sylvia Toby Schlansky | 3 Heshvan/October 20 |
| Kent R. Granzow | 4 Heshvan/October 21 |
| Alan E. Straus | 8 Heshvan/October 25 |
| Eva Madonik | 10 Heshvan/October 27 |
| Ruth Strauss | 10 Heshvan/October 27 |
| Esther Lifschitz | 11 Heshvan/October 28 |
| Flora Concus | 11 Heshvan/October 28 |
| Harry Vogel | 11 Heshvan/October 28 |
| Jeffrey Kabatznick | 11 Heshvan/October 28 |
| Deborah Slater | 11 Heshvan/October 28 |
| Nathan Schwartz | 12 Heshvan/October 29 |
| Isadore Sherman | 13 Heshvan/October 30 |
| Max Levine | 13 Heshvan/October 30 |
| Sophie Bardach | 14 Heshvan/October 31 |
| Bessie Raphael | 15 Heshvan/November 1 |
| Rose Beck | 17 Heshvan/November 3 |
| Tamar Kaufman | 17 Heshvan/November 3 |
| Isadore Teger | 20 Heshvan/November 6 |
| Esther Brott | 22 Heshvan/November 8 |
| Merle Yager | 22 Heshvan/November 8 |
| Clara Gelehrter Goodman | 23 Heshvan/November 9 |
| Max Levine | 23 Heshvan/November 9 |
| Martin Bergman | 23 Heshvan/November 9 |
| Bessie Raphael | 24 Heshvan/November 10 |
| Sophie Bardach | 24 Heshvan/November 10 |
| Chaim Pripstein | 24 Heshvan/November 10 |
| Emma Zussman Jaeger | 25 Heshvan/November 11 |
| Jack Marcus | 25 Heshvan/November 11 |
| Lillian Gottlieb | 25 Heshvan/November 11 |
| Sarah Davidson Kulakofsky | 25 Heshvan/November 11 |
| Irving Hanover | 26 Heshvan/November 12 |
| Sally Louise Raimi Brose | 26 Heshvan/November 12 |
| Ralph Klatt | 27 Heshvan/November 13 |
| Jerome Wolfe Sidel | 28 Heshvan/November 14 |
| Max Harris | 28 Heshvan/November 14 |
| Harry Safran | 28 Heshvan/November 14 |
| George Scammel | 28 Heshvan/November 14 |
| Karl Kraus | 29 Heshvan/November 15 |
| Charles Mishkin | 30 Heshvan/November 16 |
| Robert Glickler | 30 Heshvan/November 16 |